" how it turns out "

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life is like this unplanned, unexpected amazing journey, and the best we can do with our time here, is to continuously seek an understanding of it. this occurs from some repetition with slight variations, calculated and uncalculated risk-taking within and without reason, and a little bit of that ole black magic.

oh snap, i spilled the salt or whoops i bumped into my life partner slipping on a stone or hi there you on the train no time to say hello, but somehow yes somehow i will find you in the world if it happened this one time it may happen again.

it's in the unexpected moments of one of these such events, where by way of a sort of alchemy, a true beauty emerges new to the realm of present and awoken reality. you never saw it coming, and now that it's here, you are dumbstruck, filled with love to the brim, and now you have a place to share it all.

the nature of expected outcomes then, becomes less of a priority. when you desire a certain authenticity in your life, you will begin to subconsciously and consciously attracting the proper elements. you will become a magnet for these experiences and occurrences, for these people, friends and lovers, and each minute becomes a near-constant beautiful journey.

it just happens apparently. things converge upon a point in space/time, molecules collide, a connection is made, and the span of the entire galaxy folds in and against itself, allowing us to pass through a wormhole of possibilities previously unimaginable.

tonight's homework:

make a venn diagram. make a few of them. sit down and have a think about what to place in each section. dissect the fabric of reality, and recreate it in your own image. understanding, heart, camaraderie, sharing, and communal social revelation, it begins somewhere.

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" considering all possibilities "

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when we were children, the intense excitement felt building up of structures, was only released into the world by its imminent destruction. momentary chaos fuel our innate understanding of creativity, inspiration, pleasure, and a sense of self-confidence.

these life lessons evolved into adolescence and early adulthood, raucous, volatile, emotionally shifting, and ultimately, hopefully, come out the other side of experiences a calmer, more genuine, fervently aware, focused and ambitious human being.

we do not require of ourselves to be fully realized and infallible, just understood, tempered, and allowed to find success through calculated mistakes and risk-taking. now we are in the flux of it all, gunning steady and true towards a life lived. one made in the image and realizations of our collective past, and forever pushing forward into a future unknown.

we do our best to keep our heads above the fray, to hurt others as little as possible, and in our way, return the energies back into the world. it has not always been an easy road, or a clear road, but it has been a meditative road, and one filled with teachings beyond measure.

we have the opportunity for such great beauty; a capacity for greatness and achievement like no other time before. it is all within our grasp and believably possible, one could almost argue that time passing and an ever-shifting level of motivation may all which stands between our desolate barren deserts of blockage, and the sweet water'd oceans of a new day.

tonight's homework:

water your plants, but also sit with them. speak with them, and sing to them. every living thing on this world deserves at least one moment of your time, and it only takes a moment's time to improve upon and better your positive inclusion in the world. make a difference.

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" a little more perfect "

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tonight homework:

celebrate. find a voice to advocate for other freedoms and human rights. take action. remember to drink water and rest if you need to.

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" in dreams "

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  • i was on the ground and below a canopy of trees. someone was walking with me, but they heard some of their friends, and trailed off.

  • i realized i was dreaming, and decided to make a conscious decision to fly.

  • i flapped and swam my arms up and outward, kicking my legs to break through the treeline.

  • i began to fly above the trees, picking up speed and up into the air.

  • i flew through the clouds and above the earth.

  • the ocean was gray and violent below as i soared overhead.

  • the clouds were cold as i passed through them, and everything began to become a brilliant white. everything was white and enveloped me.

  • i felt myself losing altitude and i lowered my legs to land.

  • as i felt the ground below my feet i woke up and it was morning time, but i didn’t open my eyes for a few minutes so i could feel the echoes of the whole flight.

tonight's homework:

light some sage, sing a song aloud at dusk, lie flat on your back with your legs bent so your knees are up and together, and your feet remain flat to the ground as near to your tailbone as possible. five minutes of downtime, then get to task.

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" effortless cool "

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there are many factors to why something or someone is cool. once attained, how long does the attribute of cool last, and what is the half-life of coolness? hard to determine, but you can feel its power radiating like heat from the sun, or the low vibration of a subwoofer speaker unit.

the crazy part is some places just exude this ceaseless sense of magnetism. we are all moths to the flame of these particular locations, people, ideas, clothing, activities, vessels, etc. there is something about the inability to specify or distinguish to the particulate or molecule the exact "why" or "how so" of it all. you just feel it, and it is.

this is why i love those things which without fail hold on to their sense of greatness. there is an innate regality which permeates all time shifting, trends evolving, leveling off, and eventually fading away.

why question it at all? observe, take note(s), share experiences, and allow the world to reveal itself to you.

we love what we love without question. we love where we love despite distance or proximity. we love whom we love with such a ferocity, it simultaneously breaks us all to pieces as much as it does lift us up and take us away to some flavor of earthbound heaven.

tonight's homework:

write a postcard to a friend or family member. buy actual stamps, and affix it/them to the postcard. walk to the mailbox and slip the postcard in the little door. walk back home and make yourself a drink. this is living.

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" different time, same place "

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it's a waking dream. finding ourself in a familiar place, but only small details are out of place.

there is more patina on the outside of the house; fresh coats of paint sheen and reflect differently than previous layers. the soil around the trees are tilled and smell of heavy manure.

time has surely passed, the earth has spun on its axis at a continually shifting amplitude, and even the leaves had adjusted their angles to meet the movement of us in relation to the sun.

the height of some trees; the shape of some bushes. it's all like a grand experiment of find-the-differences, and there is really no prize for all sense of discovery. just a sweeping sense of lost memories a twinge of lament, and a deep acknowledgment of the passing of time.

tonight's homework:

take it slow tonight. savor each moment, each taste, each minute spent with someone you love, or each silence of standing alone in a room all by yourself. what blisses are experienced in a life slowed down.

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" free firewood "

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i always love finding myself dumbstruck by the solutions which come to me when i least expect it. they were there the entire time, and chose not to reveal themselves until that moment, at that time, however revelatory or inconvenient.

i remember listening t a tom waits interview where he describes a time when he was driving his car from here to there, and all of a sudden, an amazing diddy came to mind. he had to remain calm and drive safely, and he eventually told himself that if this was the song he was meant to remember, it would be more powerful than forgetfulness.

to think that such an idea could be so magnificent, it defies being lost. these are the treasures tucked away in the shady avenues. so languid, stationary, and without fanfare despite it's golden qualities.

it's just out of reach, tucked away on a little road, somewhere in the more desolate neighborhoods in your mind. a topographical map of hidden treasures, just waiting for your casual arrival.

tonight's homework:

look both ways before you cross the river. never turn your back on the ocean. forego the taxi and just walk home.

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" in and out of your element "

20150525_natty_firewood_01.jpg

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plans alter in a blink, and it's in the slightest suggestion of something better, something more enticing and desirable, where we change our minds from a mundane task into the revelatory.

you must use all of your experience, from the first day until today to reach this moment of shift. then sum up all of the pros and cons, taking into account the maxims as well as the fleetingly trivial. everything has a weight and a consequence, even indifference.

take this day into your own hands, and weigh the options. i'm sure when you see where you flex and bend, and where you are steadfast and true to a form, may also be more fluid than previously thought. 

tonight's homework:

it doesn't matter how much of an opinion you have unless you can use their divination as a tool for decision-making. so have a think, be honest, and strike a path anew.

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" give me a reason "

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sometimes the approach feels stifling or harrowing. the winds howl, the skies rend open, and the wash of the downpour seems like it will drown out all goodness from the world.

you're trying your best today, and the universe resounds. people heed your energy output, and all things find an alignment. stand tall, walk with a steady stride, the mind sharp, the body strong. you are fantastic.

the drive is there, the love is there, the desire and followthrough is ever-present. and where to place these attributes? a sign, just a single sign that this is the right direction. a beacon or call or note or glance which seeks out and find you where you are, and defines why you are there.

usually people wait and there is no sign. some people seek and there is no sign. but this time, this day, this moment, is where it all comes together. this is the one where just around the corner, dreams are going to be realized.

but, the best part of this version of this scene in the film of our life, is that this particular approach is clear skies and open arms. the ground guides you towards a path to amazing adventure and exploration. the seas remain calm, and everything is entirely possible.

tonight's homework:

be the better person, move on to something more important, treat yo'self.

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" going going, ever onward "

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taking command of your own personal trajectory, and how much it means in the spectrum of growth. finding yourself an adult, a real life adult and how did i ever get here? who has the answers, other more adulty adults? wanting to have the answers and endlessly having more questions.

this is the best time for realizations and calculated risk-taking. everyone on your side, all the salmon swimming against the river together, there is no way back.

and so on and so on and so forth and the river just flows and the skies open and close and the sun rises and wanes just kissing the wide horizon of the earth and all people deserve a glimpse of sweetness and truth.

 

find that strength reserve while seeking out a sense of continued adventure. write it all down, record it on tape, make an audio archive of all thoughts however valid or scatterbrained. sometimes it's fun to be the architect and the builder at the same time.

we're riding.

tonight's homework:

do less of those things which make you frustrated, sad, or angry, and do more of the things which make you gleeful, helpful, and blissed out!

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" returned into the fray "

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the past few weeks, the most beautiful blur. nothing short of transcendent times, a new aged dawned, and a life realigned.

eyes closed, eyes open. the smell of wet streets and the damp earth mixing on the lift of a breeze. a steady rain, a stillness, a moment, a held breath.

i'm returned into the fray, and only now do i truly feel as if i am back.

tonight's homework:

reassess the amount of items you have in your possession. clothing, knick-knacks, tools & instruments, cutlery, plates, cups, bowls, and the like. make a mental list, and see how emotionally you are attached to each of these items. know that they exist, are valid, and have shared time with you. make a real decision, and choose to let some of these items go, so that you may in the future replace them with a clearer definition of yourself without them to readily define you.

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" peering into, through windows "

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looming spectres of the near past weighing so heavily, so lovingly over the entire surface of my body. the feeling of being held, the sensation of constant contact. this memory remains vibrant and true; a vision and a presence which permeates and lingers.

the people who enter your life, and stay...as well as those who blaze through and fade away. everyone has a place in your heart, no matter the tenure or degree of separation.

fall a little bit in love with every person you encounter. it is a true method which allows you the access into your core empathy center. it may be a struggle, and you may end up more hurt than when you met, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.

it takes a bravery to fall and lean, and rarely is there another way to feel so acute the entire breadth of possibilities.

tonight's homework:

aim for the target, but take the time to look at the spaces in between. judge the light, the humidity, the strength of the wind, and the weight of consequence. you may make it to the bullseye, but is that really the goal?

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" luck had nothing to do with it "

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back in town, good ole bklyn. welcomed in the deep of night with torrential rains, and the thick humidity wrapping itself around my body like a dank cloak. the transition from a coast to another is so evident, and the shift is met and acknowledged.

a few days ago i lost a planner somewhere along the road between burbank and los feliz, los angeles. it was the inadvertent victim of a moment of treasured bliss coupled with a blind-spot of forgetfulness. perhaps it was a lapse, a false memory of putting it away, or in the least making sure was secured in a bag.

but no, like a classic coffee on the roof of a car bit, my planner met the outside world with an isolated nakedness which i can only assume means it is residing in the streets, near a curb maybe, on the freeway, maybe on a lawn, or in a gutter.

it was so great. the replacement for another planner previously lost, this one like the one before it was handmade. bound with care and attention, cover, stretched and glued cover materials, hand-cut pages, days written in three different kinds of pen, holes punched, and put together with such delicacy, it became a singular object.

i only mourn the loss of this object, because i know it left my possession intact and whole, a supplemental record of my daily life for 6 and a half months. filled with notes on the day, the weather, who i met, where, and how much i spent on what, and how. it held dream sketches, scrapped meetings, and fulfilled encounters with great and respected friends.

it was lost like the one before it, but i was happy to know that in the least,  my desire to continue moving forward remained intact.

tonight's homework:

say your whispered prayers, light the candles, give ample time to note and register your feelings, pick yourself up, move forward as best you are able.

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" fun times! "

don’t miss me too much, i’ve a lot of new work coming.

in the time from here to there, have fun with this swirling twirling interlude between shots today.

tonight’s homework:

i miss you too. do what you can to make people feel great.

 

" distance makes the heart something something "

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signing off for a little while. traveling around the bay area and eventually down to la-la land. photographing, collaboration, walking around the old haunts, and making new ones.

going to let my manufactured bklyn anxieties slip away, and rediscover my mellow. sometimes when we don't take breaks for the mind, body, spirit, constitution, we may find ourselves years later with such a sense of regret and what-ifs.

i have long stretches of time where i'm living in a what-could-it-be-like, so i'm happy to have a new opportunity to take this time off. as per usual, hit me up with any questions, concerns, comments, or suggestions. i'll be on the road, and though the road is long, it is still contactable.

tonight's homework:

light a candle, sing a song, shift your comfort zone to the side, move on.

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" when the time comes around "

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new variations on old themes. the smell of the pacific ocean as it hits the coast; the waft and chemical composition always bright, salty, fresh, and invigorating.

i find myself back in my childhood home, and it is as brilliant as it is overwhelmingly nostalgic. you can definitely feel time shifting; the screws tighten, but the pressure is released.

the body eases, the spine softens, and the world goes watercolor.

think of the best sensation, the most eloquent poem become a breeze through your soul. apply it to your everyday, and lean into this breeze. let it become you, and you become it.

then move forward with new eyes, and focused direction.

tonight's homework:

nostalgia, and ice cream.

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" full muster "

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you have a voice, a stake in this world, and with little or great effort, can change the trajectory of the pendulum.

a little bit of active thought and decisive action is enough to cause a ripple in the water. your voice will be heard at great distances though you are not present.

the tears, sweat, blood, and mental weight all lift off of the shoulders. the bells ring loud and true; this is an alarm.

what are you going to do today to make it a better place?

tonight's homework:

education, realization, alter the future for the greater good.

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" one-hitter "

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how rare times come around where we are outside of ourselves, outside of time, and yet seeing with a pure clarity? that there is such a radiance in the chaotic semblance of reality. that there is a chaos, and a certain quite opposite or in the least alternate quality of beauty of which becomes the basis for a version of reality as of yet before unchecked.

to know that you have been affected and in the best possible way, changed forever for the better. to know and understand that there was a time before this, and now you are in the time afterwards. 

and just for a moment, a glimpse into the infinite. one devoid of harm or illness, where music originated, and the first leaning of knowledge developed.

one true still calm filled with a complete understanding of the universe; everything finds its groove and nestles into the shallows.

tonight's homework:

pass the dutchie on the left-hand side.

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" occasional early riser "

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morning time golden sunlight spilling into my room my face full flush with sleep eyes squinted open eyes flickering with the beams full force and now i'm awake to the fresh air to the birds song singing through the flutter of the leaves and the voices along the street are few but loud.

the wind is caressing my face my body my legs pumping and cranking upon this mechanical marvel zooming along at 20 mph to my left the cars all parked ahead the lane is all clear like able sky with no breeze on the right a feral park already awoken for hours.

the only sound is this golden light over the entire plaza and no one is around but us in the sun where the few faces are smiling and the top of the park is so empty but serene and quiet and and and as with some special times when you are about of sorts or in other sorts you feel like you ay be tumbling down and all around but in reality everything falls into place.

tonight's homework:

locate a source of happiness and be thankful.

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" it looms over "

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you must do your best to focus now. the odds are not necessarily against your favor, but when you take on a slight hesitation, or have manifest a doubt in yourself and your talents in the slightest, it festers and becomes a heavy burden.

there are numerous individuals on this earth, and yes a lot of them are successful, and yes a lot of them are beautiful in every way beyond belief and comparison, and yes they live lives well and beyond comprehension...but who cares?

why let outside forces and third parties dictate at all the arc of your trajectory? why let yourself down due to a side-by-side? there are bright lights in your talents, gifts which only you have the ability to bestow on the world. 

it's completely true. the world is a better place for you being in it, but you must interact with it. you must believe in your abilities and qualities, then make the best effort you've got. think of one thing you'd like to be better at. now think of another. and a third.

write them down, and set out a plan to overcome these supposed shortcomings. you are the best, most beautiful, most talented, most bright star in the universe, and you must discover that you are perhaps standing in your own path to success. 

tonight's homework:

give yourself a chance to do better. give someone else the chance to do better. we are all in this together, and sometimes you need to touch home base. get your ish together; it may pay off in unimaginable ways

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