" fluctuation "

---

the heart begins to beat faster, with tiny quakes, flits, and flutters. the hush melds into a lovely silence as the lights dim slightly.

above, ripples of gold expand out in wide arcs. the crystals twinkle as they seem to rise ever higher into the upper tiers.

now sitting in the the collective dark, lit only by a myriad of glowing pinpoints all around, the expectation mounts. the curtain lifts with such steady power, the audience gasps. like so many times before this one, the first note is struck, and i know once more what the nature of a love is.

tonight's homework:

organize your desktop, both digital, mobile, and real life. knowing where things are in relation to your need of them, allows you to work more efficiently and waste less time. well, you can still scroll endlessly on your websites of choice, and with a cleaner workspace, do it without one elbow in an empty bowl of food.

---

 

" from now on "

---

taking care of your teeth, eyes, mind, body, soul, spirit.

not spreading yourself too thin; you might disappear.

finding out that you have been over-scheduling your time and not leaving any for your Self.

make connections on a daily basis, real connections, one's which fuel your heart and propel you more into the world, instead of shrinking away from it.

take a break when you need it, drink water when you are thirsty, eat well when you are hungry. sleep when you are tired. make out at all opportunities. brush teeth at least twice daily and bathe accordingly.

dont fret too much about being an adult, over remembering to be an empathetic human.

give compliments when they are due. don't push someone down in order to push yourself up.

recognize that anger is an emotion which has equal weight ass other emotions, therefore should be respected. when you feel an anger rising, take a moment to pinpoint the origin; know the why and how of its rise and plateau, then allow the anger to ride out like all other emotions. let it exist, let it fall, let it dissipate, and move on.

tonight's homework:

make lists.

make love.

make amends.

---

 

" nocturne and intermissions "

---

on the lower levels, there are faces which lines the walls. past stars captured in former glories; their status secured and permanent. the people are reverent and whisper at low tones, so as not to disturb other patrons.

at standing-only tables nearby, people gather to sip flutes of cold champagne. the glasses clink together and the laughter is dampened by velvet walls. the illumination is deliberate and indirect; the world has become a cocoon of dim glows and reverie.

who were those people in those images? how did they live so large? did they have a love in their life? did they have happiness to counterpoise the work put in to be chosen? how much fame did they enjoy, or was it a passing moment like a supernova in the dark black of space? did they have someone to take care of them after the footlights dimmed? are they remembered with joy and immortality?

the tones sound throughout the theatre and maroon festooned ushers calmly resume their duties. after a few moments, the space retains only a select few, still opting to linger amongst the memory of yesteryear.

tonight's homework:

don't wait to speak. say it, confident and open. mean it, with intention and honesty. now is the right time, and the time is right now. 

---

 

" in the blink "

---

it only take one sliver of time, to know you've experienced the infinite. to have had the opportunity to breathe it all in, and it all came down to the moment before, the moment of, and the moment soon thereafter.

thunder crack paddy whack, the sky splits open. sha-bang and ker-slam, the earth splits open and out spills the magma. the air cool to the touch soothes the aching soil, and even the stars shine through the daylight.

in that moment everything has changed. the location is different, even you are not the same person. and there is reason to be cautions, and there is reason to be celebratory. all things remain the same and are entirely changed forever.

the beauty in each moment; a distillation of endless possibility, now come together and focused like the pinpoint of light-energy through a magnifying glass. the memory now made, sealed by the weld of time passing on and on.

tonight's homework:

find a respect for your time, and spend it making your world and the world at large around us a better place.

---

 

" home is a place i call home "

---

the sound of opening up the mail with a blunted envelope opener, or footsteps on the staircase when it's late in the house, or the smooth wide kitchen floor tiles being wiped down with a wet rag, or the clang of a trowel on small rocks in the soil outside in the garden, or laughter in the other room.

the smell of the chicken legs frying hot oil on the illegal outdoor stovetop, or the damp dark dank of the basement, or the sweet rice being mixed in a large bowl with the coconut milk and sugars folding over each other, or moms makeup and powders in the restroom.

the feeling of its discovery every day, and the feeling of walking away from it each time.

tonight's homework:

light a candle.

---

Β 

 

" holding in place: a dream "

---

in my dream, i ran barefoot though the snow towards the temple flame. there were ornate spires, gilded and severe set against the blue winter sky.

i was running, and my footprints began shallow, and went deeper into the frost as i picked up speed. the flat wide of the soles felt no cold.

after a while, i reached the structure; the flames seemed to roar and crackle. the fire rose up like a solid sheet, like a shifting amorphous living being, like the surface of the sun.

i stood in awe of this energy and my feet sank into the dense bank. after a few moments, the fires dissipated like an ethereal veil being lifted by the wind, or a memory in the process of being forgotten. a few moments more, and it was gone.

all that was left of the temple was a cold shell. in the braces and beams, multiples of birds were roped together alongside the metal. nothing made sense, and the only thoughts i had were, "why did these birds survive the fire, only to be lashed to the skeleton?" and "how can the elements shift so rapidly, without a sense of emotional responsibility, without a care for who was a witness or who would remember it?"

i thought these thoughts to myself, and heard voices in the distance behind me. i turned around to see who it was calling out my name in the dark, and i rapidly awoke to an overcast day and a lingering powerful rainstorm rapping at my bedroom windows.

tonight's homework:

prepare some scrap paper or a recorder to document those moments of your dreams you remember, and try to be as truthful to the dream itself as possible.

---

 

" secret treasures "

---

remaining stationary doesn't always mean you're grounded. being in constant movement doesn't mean you're going somewhere. what is missing sometimes, is the sense of purpose or active intent.

this is not to say that in each move and with each step, you must have a sense of purpose, but it does mean to begin to consider a wider arc in the trajectory of your life. this could mean thinking about how you speak with others, what route you could take today different from previous days, or thinking about how you could take care of someone else outside of yourself.

i have to tell myself this as well, because it is my own daily struggle. on one hand to maintain a semblance of a happy life, on the other to fight my away from self-doubt, fear, anxieties, et al. the best part of it all is to realize that you are not alone. you are never alone.

we are thriving as a species on a world that has evolved to this point in our short history, and we hold such a great potential for connectivity. it is up to you to find your comfort zone, tease out the edges and flex those borders, and find yourself that slice of solace within it. 

it is as simple as it is difficult. the lifestyle you choose is so augmented from outside energies, people, forces beyond our control, and at times it is easy to feel caught in the middle without a say. but you do have a say, and that unique seemingly unattainable sense of complete joy is just within reach.

tonight's homework:

be happy.

---

 

" disruption of a signal "

---

the constant droning on and on of your normal routine, today will be broken. it is not a warning, it is a sounding call. you're in a box, and that box is within a box in a box in a sphere in a void.

this is the day, and this is the time. look up from the gleaming rectangles, up from the glowing shapes, away from the artificially illuminated. look to the windows, to the out of doors, to the trees, to the land and water, to the skies.

our bodies are dying in our seats. and there's no time to waste.

get up, get out, get going, get on getting on.

tonight's homework:

read a book, read a book, read a MerFing book. or you know, saturday night drinks with peeps. either or.

---

 

" how to align planets "

---

one part dreamer's intent, a dash of available expendable funds, planning capabilities with a talent for making time itself set aside.

mix in a bowl of a weekend's time, set aside.

in a separate bag, pack some clothes, camera gear, assorted snacks, writing instruments and a pad of paper if not a planner or journal. don't for get some cash on hand for good measure.

turn up the excitement and sense of adventure oven to 11. make calls, send emails, consult star charts and tarot cards, correspondence! 

let marinate at room temperature until the appropriate response has been received, then leave home at the right time, make sure you're wearing comfortable walking shoes, and set out at the correct time.

servings are scalable to the number of participants.

tonight's homework:

it's never a bad time to touch base with cool peeps, and see if they've had as good of a week as you have.

---

 

" outskirts, looking in "

---

from up here everything is silent, save the restless winds coming off of the river. savage intermittent barks echo off of the aluminum siding, and the sun hits and is absorbed into the spacious black tar of the yard.

one hundred paces in either direction; not a soul is in sight. the warmth of a spring emerging fills the entirety of my body, and my souls soars, lifting off the ground.

the city is waking up, and the bridge is beginning to jostle and shudder as delivery trucks and busses begin to amble on through the long lanes of the frontage roads.

the moment of pause is gone. my feet once again find their footing, i turn my face away from the wide expanse and begin walking to streets previously unexplored.

tonight's homework:

have a dare to have a dream, then set out to accomplish said dream with gusto and verve. no one can do this for you, and there's usually only just this one chance. go for it. believe in yourself. you can do this.

---

 

" until the setting of the sun "

---

it will always matter, you will always matter.

dark matter, surrounds us, and are we not infinite in all of our gestures?

it never matters, you never matter.

the drone of the universal crank in motion whines and creaks along, and we all shuffle along, inattentive, trying to block it all out.

it matters, i matter.

such a beauty, such a lovely day,

like the wide wisp of a cream-colored veil,

brushing past our closed eyes.

tonight's homework:

know your emotions, pinpoint their origins, understand them, let them go until they return. sleep well.

---

 

" waking up early "

---

when i was a college undergrad, i used to sleep in until 11am or so. sleeping in was de rigeur, and i relished in offsetting years of early schedules in lieu of a schedule of my own making.

now, years later and well beyond a master's degree, i find that sleeping in is so much more of a rare occurrence. more often than not, i find myself wide away between 6am and 7:30am. 

without fail, when i sleep in a new place, i am up with the sun, and unable to return to a peaceful slumber. i'm not sure if i find it annoying, the inability to wake up late. perhaps it is a mixed blessing, if only for the fact that i can get so much more done in a day's time.

there is something so magical, so serene about a day on the rise. the beautiful quiet whisperings of a morning in formation, and the compete sense of solace. we awake in a world of possibility, where curiosity and the willingness to engage with the outside world is rewarded with a multitude of different experiences.

so rather than abhor it, i embrace the soft dim of daybreak, and miss it terribly when i find myself well past the coming of the dawn.

tonight's homework:

set that alarm for 20 minutes earlier, and tomorrow morning, revel in all a new day has to offer.

---

 

" a perceived element of "

---

no, you're not going to get into any trouble. trust me. take my hand, and i'll lead while you follow. or you lead, and i'll follow. everywhere is here, and with you is the correct path to take.

no one will catch us, steer us wrong, shame us, tip any one off about us or our whereabouts. we are like the winds, like the flap of a wing, an imperceptible whisper, the shadows along the alleyways.

we'll move so slow,the outside world will think us statues and take no note. we'll move so fast we'll split atoms, a whizz past a thought, the synapse behind the electricity behind the blink of an eye.

tonight's homework:

take a chance on believing in yourself and your creative potential. appreciate those who root for you and are your biggest supporters.

---

 

" out of sorts "

---

popping over a couple states away for a short adventure. it's funny when your version of "getting out of the city," is heading to another city.

what strange parallel universe is out there, existing all by itself, self-sufficient and all devoid of my interaction with it? the daily and constant mystery of a personal perspective, and the eternal question, "if i don't exist there, does that place cease to exist?"

whether or not i took the red or the blue pill, i hope to have a great time being out of my element, and attempting to not spend all of my paycheck in one go.

tonight's homework:

make the best fruit salad of your life! ideas could include strawberries, halved and drizzled with balsamic vinegar or fresh lemon juice. zazz up your snacks, zazz up your life.

---

 

" towards distant shores "

---

other waves, other currents,

blissful tides, warm waters.

escaping melancholy, embracing adventure,

teeming optimism,

unbridled hopes.

casting off from a beleaguered past towards distant shores.

tonight's homework:

plan for everything.

---

 

" life is but a dream within a dream "

---

open eyes, open heart, face forward towards the sun. 

we're finding ourselves closer each day, to those goals we set out to accomplish, to relieving the pressures and burdens, to our lives unfolding and developing into that dream within a dream.

i can see it all around me, in the faces of my friends, in the city as the season is shifting and finding its stride, and each night before i go to sleep. the long shadows stretch and elongate along the walls, as that beautiful liminal state of consciousness begins to drift.

the day ramps up in the morning-time, and winds down in the afternoon, we spin on this world, and do our best to create a serenity within its embrace.

tonight's homework:

make a baby, or make a baby-making mixtape.

---

 

" wandering star "

---

amongst the looming structures on the surface, the subterranean machines shriek and bark. steel to rails, and all manner of jostling locomotion.

to walk through the underground passages in between the near-ceaseless commutes, the long corridors and the hollow hums serves as a momentary respite; a palliative which radiates throughout the body, and allows the mind to rest.

the weight of the city clings to your bones. the cold in the winters and the humidity clutching tight to your skin in the deep of summer. these are extremes in an extreme place. saved by moments of calm, of solace, and finding yourself devoid of the crowd, you can with relieved eyes see the beauty all around.

in the darkest dankest filthiest places, there still shines a loveliness gleaming in the shadows.

tonight's homework:

love the place where you live. take care of it, and take care of yourself.

---

 

" the third option "

---

you always believe the world to be a polarized landscape of black and white, but in my experience, it's been mostly gray.

gray times when you found yourself not wanting to be just a friend, gray strokes in the darkness of the lower tunnels where you found each other. grays on overcast days when you've heard wonderful news and everything good in the world is renewed, gray tinges around the field of vision like sparkles when you squint but smudges in the heart with eyes wide open.

so many confusing feelings overlapping in upon itself; the way it all works out, and how we live our lives with more compromises on all sides than we'd like. we must remember the third option.

to know that within every happiness lies a sadness, and within every melancholy a lingering glowing golden sense of knowing and being loved. this is the path where your expected outcomes are always skewed towards a strange and curious realization.

having it all make sense is the least of my worries; i am more interested in doing my best with the time i have. there'll be much time fore the dissection of sense, but such a fleeting time where love manifests.

we never know why most situations turn out as they do, and try as we might influence an outcome, it's ultimately so many different factors that it's more comforting to believe in a point of origin instead of many.

so welcome side glances and unsettled butterflies, i've been aware of your presences for some time now. hello moments of brilliance and exuberant confidences, good morning painful memories, good afternoon altruism and empathy, and good evening lovely confusion.

tonight's homework:

check to see how well your color vision acuity is. 

http://www.xrite.com/online-color-test-challenge

i am always fascinated that my vision is so bad, but i always get 100% on this.

---

 

" tethers and ties "

---

all the faces in the crowds, the streets, the trains, the grocery stores. so beautiful, so distant however close, and so intimate, however distant. we span eons of time in each glance, our eyes meeting until one of us looks away.

nothing quite like the feeling that someone has seen through the meshed veil of your true self, in public, and for that briefest of seconds, knows your everything. they have always known, and it serves as a reminder that you are always vulnerable at all times.

in all of your strengths, weaknesses, faults, and loveliest attributes, finding yourself human and fallible provides the greatest opportunity to show your worth.

just a moment of your time, one moment, in which to find the chord without fumbling through the fingerings. we are melodies, we are harmonies, we are the vibrations in the dissonance, we are the echoes in the empty chambers.

tonight's homework:

learn how to cook something, one dish very well. know it by heart, the ingredients, the smell, the textures, and the nuances. learn this and always have that one in your back pocket should anyone doubt you. and then learn more things after that one.

---

 

" strike, the plate is hot "

---

we gather 'round, pool resources, and make our ways plural, towards destinations unknown, know, and altogether fantastical.

the night is young. my life is youthful. wavelengths of energy emit from all things, and the streets murmur and vibrate with that flavor of ceaseless tremors, that although we are not at all sure of what will happen, everything has shifted, and we will never be the same ever again.

my crew, my people, my hearts, my eyes. my soul soars, the frequency peaks, and the transmission is received.

loud and clear i see through the headlights; the night looms and is electric.

tonight's homework:

dance dance dance, laugh laugh laugh, shower brush sleep to dream.

---