" when you know you are in it: a dream "

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i went to scotland with my mom and we were traveling to inverness. i stopped off at the visitor center, and everyone was doing a production of an old traditional ceremony.

somehow through some timing mishap, i entered the staging area at a weird time and was crowned the king of scotland.

then during the procession, I could see the wires and lights, and I knew it was a production, but everyone was being so nice, I didn't say anything.

a little boy hid in the front of my hoodie and we watched the log games. he told me about what was happening.

lots of kilted men filled in and had these long cabers with beer an whiskey, tossed them head over tails and then drank from them. it was physical.

the little boy slipped out and was in the bathroom. when I knocked and asked if he was okay, he said yeah, but that I had a challenge coming up.

all the villagers gathered and threw a long caber into the waters of the cold ocean, and then told me i’d have to surf a wave 50-60ft. high if i was to remain king. the wave looked peet brown an ominous.

as i entered the water, the waves took me high and away and i thought I was going to drown clutching to this caber. a woman in a slip appeared between the waves and grabbed onto my floating body. she steered me back to shore and then swam away.

back on land, everyone was waiting in the hall of the visitor center and dressed in casual clothing. when i entered, my friend becca was dancing with the boy and smiling.

she turned to see me and was very surprised, exclaiming "what are you doing here? this is so crazy!" i agreed. her and my mom sat down, and i gave a speech thanking the people for letting me be their king, even if it was for part of the day.

everyone laughed and we all went outside. i took a polaroid, and people congratulated me. I was going to miss them.

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" an adjustment towards sunlight "

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summer fridays and bright even light blazing through the branches of the swaying trees which line the street.

caressing shadows fawn over the tiled walls, and you see the perfect spot for someone to fit right into the geometry of the wall.

when you see the image in your mind, and have it come out so great, so close to how you envisioned it, these are the moments which sustain you.

these are the hope-bringers that you did something meaningful, and can go on to realize other dreams as well, no matter how large or small.

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" slipping slowly into a season "

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hello hot mornings leading to hot afternoons, welcome swelter and heatwaves on black tar streets.

hello rumbling thunderstorms and looming clouds. find a seat delicious ice creams from oft-queued parlors.

entree vous i'm home and removes pants immediately. howdy doo a/c on full with a fan action.

wonderful to see you outdoor seating with snacks and laughter. and good tidings to the lightning bugs at nighttime.

it is all wonderful to be entranced by your summer'd ways. i very much look forward to the time we have left together.

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" nothing beyond repair "

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when you feel spent, overwhelmed, stubborn, and exhausted, there is something to allowing yourself a release. remember to breathe deeply, exhale fully, and ponder upon this metered breath.

i know firsthand these depths and these feelings of anguish. you will get through these hard times. it's a promise which can be made, but it takes a level of vulnerability and humbleness.

when you put out that good energy and optimistic vibes out into the world, it comes back to you in your darkest times. there is room for pride, but do not let it stop you from healing.

no one can know what the future brings, but we can at all times be prepared and ready ourselves.

tonight's homework:

dare to have a hope. dare to have a dream. spend time healing others. heal yourself.

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" the hushed silence "

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among the whispers and the joyous outbursts during the free outdoor screening, those who were alone in the crowd felt a sense of togetherness.

all people laughing in unison, nodding to the music, feeling all things, and the night lingered on beautifully whole.

tonight's homework:

take care of yourself, family & friends. we're all in this together, and need all the support we can get.

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" no faith in fate "

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you get what you get, and no take-backsies. revel in your choices, and perhaps too the way in which you lean towards or shrink away from those situations, people, and objects you come across.

almost nothing is fate, and almost nothing is luck. but mostly everything is the way it happens because it's the way it happens. it's not glorified, but it's pure and honest. there is beauty in that simplicity.

painfully lovely melancholy in the most minimalist moments. this is the distillation of the eternal experience, and we are all within it, around it, and creators of it.

tonight's homework:

make a slight inspection of your more complex patterns, and seek to streamline the more cross-wired ones.

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" traveling for knowledge "

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when you hedge your bets on yourself, great things shift. you begin to see that you can steer the trajectory of your life towards uncharted successes. you enrich your quality of life, and the lives of others.

the particular slice of freedoms we enjoy can alter your vision of the future in curious and beneficial ways as well. we're instilled with a "create your own adventure" mentality and learn within a strange framework of rigidity and possibility. so it's up to us to take it upon ourselves to better ourselves, color outside the lines, and cross the thresholds of our own hesitant insecurities.

when you take these custom-crafted plans, no matter the outcome, you are tapping into something so beautiful, so pure. those are moments you remember when you say "remember when..."

suddenly opportunities open up and you can be the architect of your dream-making. taking that first chance on yourself is the best tenuous moment; immaculate silence like a spread white sheet.

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" the curiousity which leads you "

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where you went to sleep doesn't have to dictate where you will wake up. ride the train into destinations unknown. cross borders and experience new realities.

there is little time to waste, and there's so much to see. be engaged, have an opinion, be flexible, be open to change, and follow your heart not your fears.

cross oceans if where you are is not enough. we could find ourselves in other lands, other cultures, other climes, surrounded by completely different people, languages, mannerisms, public transit systems, deletable foods, and beauties unmatched.

tonight's homeowrk:

explore beyond the periphery of your self-defined borders or limits; there are many colors yet to see.

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" beyond what you see "

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no need for kid gloves with me. i'm a dark horse with crimson lips. the brash gale which whips at the walls of your preconceived notions.

come correct or not at all. the deep wake of my strengths slicing through wide waters defy expectation.

we'll treat each other as friends and fellow humans, or walk on by. i've no time for ill behavior, cruelty, teasing, or the all too-oft catcall.

i am the water, the sun, the earth, the molten core. i am the cold of space, the endless night, and the breaking dawn.

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" when you wear the best fit of the day "

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invincibility as a construct is a difficult state to maintain. no matter how invulnerable we feel, our skin is still exposed to the world.

but a complete fit can be that armor to deflect all manner of hesitation. you can find yourself amidst naysayers or judgmental people, and render yourself immediately devoid of harm.

when you wear the best fit of the day, people take heed, and you have soul-fangs. one thing less is the matter, and you can walk tall, proud, confident, beaming, glowing, radiating.

i suppose i am still working on a complete best fit of the day, but i'm getting there piece by piece.

tonight's homework:

make yourself feel better for the benefit of yourself. things are always looking up.

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" top of a small mountain is still a mountain "

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above the ground, above the world, below the sky.

feet planted firmly and feeling powerful with the wind in your face and the strength of generations flowing through you.

all the pains ebbed, the ire depleted, the sadness vanquished. you stand on top of a small mountain and survey the future.

everything possible, loves in your life, delicious foods, your body running full throttle hurtling into every amazing experience after another, never stopping, never letting up.

then a quiet moment of reflection and a held breath exhaled.

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" rough & tumble "

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finding your way through all the obstacles thrown your way, arms held out to brush back all the broken shattered boughs, windswept reeds, and flotsam which whip and lash at your body.

sometimes even with everything in your face with a full force, your strength lies in assessment, holding onto the hopes that it will all work out. everything will be resolved and be fine. you will get through this.

even though it doesn't always feel like it, every storm passes. and if you need the help, we're all right here parallel to your path. this struggle is not evergreen.

tonight's homework:

don't feel like you can't ask someone for help if you need aide; things are rough out here, and it's comforting that you're not in it all by your lonesome.

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" deep south "

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waiting quietly in the corners, the glints of refracted lights shine in the shadows. when i see you pass by, i am looking at a stranger. i feel nothing at all.

my eyes ache with the lack of moisture. seeking, metering the blinking, holding out my arms to the world, screaming out into the void.

we're at the point of no return; there is no going back.

you are a stranger, you are a stranger.

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waiting for you in the streets, the sun is out and high in a clear blue. i see you walking towards me with the light of the bright star at your back, as if ushered forward with a golden haloed outline. overcome by a great love, i feel everything.

my heart aches with a swell and everything in the universe blurs away is a haze. i lift up my arms to you and welcome you into them, whispering my hellos.

we're at the point of no return; there is no going back.

you are the only person i have ever known.

tonight's homework:

no matter the argument, rift, or quarrel, find a way towards understanding and reconciliation.

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" the sublime anchor "

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once in a while something very special happens. you note it and take note, no matter how slight or bold to action or circumstance. these are the moments to cherishing your life of making.

the creation and fruition of an idea requires development, sometimes years, sometimes decades. sometimes mere seconds. they are all valid if you see them through, and if the winds are right, if the light quality correct, if you ate a delicious healthful breakfast, if the planets are in alignment, if it is low tide, if so many things.

and when you've got lightning in a bottle, you can tell. when you've collaborated on something so simple and so profound, you know it's going to be transcendent.

these are the sublime anchors which keep you tethered to your craft, and lets loose your stresses as if every ache and pain in your skeleton suddenly exits your body. you find your footing, and the strength to push on.

when it happens, you find yourself standing at the far end of a long pier facing the open water. the light shimmers and folds in on itself as the surface ripples and quivers. you close the eyes of your experience and confidence, and trust your skills as you press the shutter.

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" good medicine "

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kindness, patience, calm, meditation, healthy eating, healthy thinking and actions, brilliant ideas as a result of sleeping deeply & well, catnaps too, being confident in the face of fear, being humble in the face of praise.glances, approaches, kisses and physical touch.

making a connection with at least one other human in person per day. making someone feel great about themselves. drinking plenty of water. moisturizing often. love your parents, family, partners, other people, strangers, everyone.

touching someone's life with goodness, aide, cooking, arts & crafts time, movie-watching, activities! finding the positive and optimistic and venerable in each person.

getting close, getting good with life itself.

getting by.

second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, until the stars turn cold.

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" summertime alignment "

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it's the bright encompassing low sunlight with the extended deep shadows. we find ourselves walking down the streets where there is no escape from this quality of light, and its strength matches the loving closeness of humidity.

your skin feels damp and flush with the heat, and each step requires a shifting navigation of movement such that a small draft or gust of cooler air slips between the back of your shirt and the nape of the collar.

the afternoon pushes on as you engage it. there is no rush other than the self-imposition of wanting to get to point B in general. the faces of the people in the street resembles that of the suffering of the swelter, but you revel in it.

tonight's homework:

stay cool and don't be in a rush; life's pleasures are all in the details.

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" continuity of the mellow "

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getting lost in the sway and flush of long branches and the lush green leaves.

a true summer day is arrived, and the hypnotic wonderment entrances and astounds.

all points in the universe are converging, and just at the periphery, the sunshine hangs low, and dances at the edges of my field of vision.

everything is calm, at ease, and absolutely amazing.

tonight's homework:

practice a brief period of mindfulness. sit at rest, and allow yourself to be reintroduced to your environment. benefits within.

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" sun-kissed & baked "

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hark! the clouds break and the rains turn to a drizzle to a drip drop, then nothing but lovely golden silence.

the sunset beams burn their way through the cloud cover, and cleaves particles to reach our bodies. the lengthy travel between near outer space and our receptive molecules is near-instantaneaous.

we stand upon the rooftop and welcome the glowing warmth, which arrive in a dazzle of photons and particles unseen.

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" to the water, to the water "

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sometimes i dream of dark water.

whether in a pool at nighttime with all the lights turned off and curious illumination from within the depths, or in the wide open seas with unknown fathoms leading down to monstrous cephalopods.

never sure what dreaming about water, the ocean at night, being surrounded by the comfort of the waves and currents, but knowing that at some hidden level there lurks creatures unknown.

most of the time it's circling orcas or ululating humpback whales. they're never dangerous per se, but have a sense of menace and curiosity at the same time.

in some dreams i sink ever so slightly to four or five body lengths below the surface, and i can breathe! i love those dreams because you have a breath and you can see sharp and clear. as someone who has severely impaired vision, a life without eyeglasses and contact lenses is bliss.

i would swim down into the dense black, explore caverns with bioluminescent amoebas. these beautiful dreams allow me the opportunity to face fears, skirt some dangers, and remain near-lucid.

upon waking, i miss the sensation of the body of water cradling itself all about your being. it's the melancholy of finding yourself in the real world, on land, and devoid of the clutch and caress of the entire universe.

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" on nearby shores "

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sunlight on my face. closed eyes, and how the entire world goes an amber-red glow.

warm summer breeze clutching and clinging to my face like a whiplash flurry of kisses on the cheek.

the smell of the open ocean in the distance, and the guttural hum of the vessel mingling with the sounds of far off bellows.

riding along the chop and currents, we're making our way to the island.

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