" claiming your amazing "

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one of the hardest parts of being a creative person, is that line you constantly have to cross between "i am an artist, a creative person!" and "am i even creative at all?"

it's that wobbly wavering precipice where you attempt to find solid ground in solid work with roots over supposed projects of merit filled to the brim with notions, ideas, works-in-progress, et al.

the things i always come back to include a swirl of  immense doubt and immense satisfaction, crippling deconstruction and the ability to step back and  away confident, and craving feedback or praise and wanting the work to speak for itself and to let it go to exist in the world.

i know when i enjoy my work, but once you put it out there, it is beyond your hands. you have to learn to let go; to allow the work to be free of your artist's statement or blurb or explanation means to allow the work to be free of one distinct interpretation. i revel and intensely fear those moments.

the excitement of having new work to share and present mingling with the feelings of dread and "will they like it?" sort of do a tango in your chest until it crescendos and then you again realize it doesn't matter.

opinions will be opinions, critics will be critics, and in the end, do you like it. did you have fun making the work? did you learn something about someone or yourself? are you a better person for making the work?

i say follow your gut and heart and soul and any other pert of your existence which leads you to a life of ceaseless inquiry and exploration, creatively or otherwise. find a love for yourself at the same time as all others.

if it were easy, everyone would do this.

tonight's homework:

list your fears, then actively attempt to overcome them and your shortcomings. now is the right time to do and have it all.

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