" learning to eat better "

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the day i turned 30 years old, i traveled back to the bay area in central coast california. i felt like i should be home for the occasion, and luckily the scheduling worked out. the moment when i turned 30, i was sitting in the back of my parent's VW camper van going into east bay over the span of the richmond-san rafael bridge. all about me there was a quiet whirring of tires on smooth surfaces, the ethereal soft fog haze enveloping most of the bay waters, and i felt as if in a blissful dream. in the distance i could see the san francisco skyline gleaming in the early afternoon. i was heading home and 15 mins from my place of birth.

the day after my body was different. ha! i felt like all the celebratory reveling has stuck to my bones, cardio made me super tired, and my joints all felt creaky. thoughts of the furture come into sharp focus. one where i would be falling apart little by little. sprains, breaks, cracks, aches, pains both sharp and dull at the same time. it was not a beauty of a thought.

when i returned back to nyc from that lovely trip, i thought about what i put in my body, and how it defines how it feels, looks, reacts, exists? what a sobering shitty realization that you're not going to be invincible forever. everything is finite? jeez. life in my 30's has been all about maintenance, and it doesn't look like this is going to shift anytime soon.

still, i think i eat fairly well. on any given week, i have a bunch of kale, homemade juices, vegetables, super salad, fresh fish, clean healthy, sustainable goods, etc. of course this is all metered with pancakes, various meats, of course bacon, maple syrup, ice creams (plural), and dense cakes, all in my face mouth gut body. that weight of pleasure from indulgent foods always outweighs the energy-packed nutrition-rich ones. it's a difficult balance.

just like everything else, moderation is key. healthful foods & indulgent ones, life, love, anger, healing, pleasure and pain. you can have it all for sure, you just need to begin to plan for the method of which to include it all into your life.

now that i'm actively trying to make an attempt to eat better, feel better, love better, exercise better, be better, it's more like rediscovering my earlier self with the knowledge i have at the moment. i am time traveling through my existence, and the beautiful hazy dream is now my reality.

tonight's homework:

make a plan to take better care of yourself. it's most definitely not too late to treat yourself right.

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