" the cover of a book "

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i used to be so quick to judgement, to anger, to cutting people down, and lighting them up. my eyes would burn like coals lit with focused laserbeams. my face would puff until sweaty and red. my muscles would tighten, and my bones would tremble.

after so many years of not knowing what to do with such furious energy, i turned inward, and began to observe a different way of dealing with all of that rage, ire, and blind manic mania. i found a way to parallel all of those emotions with those of happiness, whimsy, pleasure.

every emotion is formulated from a triggered reaction of past experiences and current/momentary stimuli. knowing that emotions tended for me to become triggered, rise up, plateau, cascade downward, then subside, this is how i came to approach my frustration and anger.

i would feel it explode in my head. i would feel the rise in temperature and discomfort. i would take a moment to step outside of myself and register why i was affected; i had to distill the emotion down to the exact point of origin.

in this manner, i could teach myself to understand the path of this anger, the path of fear, the path of disgust, jealousy, of bitterness and fury. and in this manner, i knew that it was respected and would be acknowledged, then subside, as all the rest.

there's no currency in holding on to your anger or ire. to know that there is a light at the end of our dark tunnels, allows us the abilities to create the conveyance to usher us safely through to the other side. to learn to be the architect and engineer of your own understanding and healing is a powerful state of being.

tonight's homework:

let go your old grudges, and form new alliances with peace and mutual benefit.

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