here’s to never fleeing from something, but always running towards something. to finding strange moments within the travel, to riding trains to far destinations, to walking the distance.
you’re always present with yourself, so what does it matter if your feet want to go left or right? eventually you may have the option to choose both, or an entirely different set of options. if time is short, of course you must choose. but what if your weekend is open and free for the scheduling of your choosing?
what elation and opportunity! what raw and unbridled emptiness could be filled to the brim with unknown discoveries! plural!
i’m always moving never stopping, so you be too, and maybe our paths will parallel. and maybe they will cross and tangent into other tributaries. but we’ll have had the great pleasure to have witnessed each other, adventuring in the world, smiling wide with teeth exposed reeling with a sense of such completeness.
slipped through my fingers and the winds kicked up. disappeared behind the rush of a passing train. i turned around, and you vanished. out of my presence, out of view, out of reach.
in all of these places i’ve loved you. i’ve despised you. i’ve missed you, pined for you, lost you.
but i do see you there in the details. the echoes and the memories which manifest like phantoms of the past. and just like those blessed and beautifully delicate memories, they continue to haunt me, both good and bad ones. hopes among the despair, glimmers of gladness in the shuffle.
and they shape who i have become and continue to be. things happened like they happened, and of course it’s fine. this is the grasp of a linear life.
what a lovely tragedy, this melancholic existence. we are destined to feel from the first to the last, and in all that exquisite sustained lifetime in between.
just leaving the house in the morning feels like a chore. but it’s in the making of that feeling into the belief that you’ll find amazing experiences in the world, that makes it worth whole.
you can do good out there, you can meet cool people out there, you can get exercise out there, you can find and eat delicious things out there, you can make eye contact out there, you can make heart contact out there.
at a time where heading home, eating horribly lazy, slumping into the couch or bed, and then internetting yourself to bed is the norm, plan an excursion into the unknown.
or in the least, make a phone call, and create plans for you and a friend. it’s too interesting out there to make a habit of staying in.
(p.s. - a splash of color in these next few posts because i was gifted some old FP-100C from 2004. it’s pretty wonky so far! fun!)