" finding the right words: a dream "

---

it was morning time and the sunbeams were streaming into the kitchen. i had people over for the night and we were making an omelet.

in a large pan i had sauteed garlic and onions, and put in a clutch of kale for color and nutrition.

patrick came into the kitchen and said that he wanted to help out, so i asked him to get the eggs ready. i thought to myself that this really wasn’t a hard task, and i was thinking that he should just take the eggs from the fridge, out of the carton, and place them on the table behind me.

everyone behind me was laughing and having a good time chatting in the sunlight, and i wanted to join in, so i turned around and joined them while the mushrooms went into the pan and started to cook.

a moment later, patrick said he already put the eggs into the pan, and i turned around, because i felt that something was amiss.

“aw maaaan!,” i yelled out loud but not in a mean way. “why would you put a bunch of hard-boiled eggs into the pan!”

“i don’t know, that’s what you said to do,” he replied. i think that he thought i was yelling at him mad, but everyone else laughed because it was funny that i was crazy about the state of the eggs.

he left the kitchen after he got frustrated with me, and i made a mental note to apologize to him later.

then i went to get some eggs out of the carton on the table, and one of the eggs was cracked already so it fell out of the carton and onto my hand and then slid out and plopped onto the rangetop.

“oh noooooooo!” i screamed, while everyone else laughed at my comeuppance.

i realized that breakfast was going to be made a little later than planned, and then i woke up laughing.

---

" flush all over "

---

running through the forest at dusk. the sun honey drip dipping below the horizon in the far distance, and the last fleeting streams losing their grip amongst the trunks, up to the branches, and finally the wide endless canopy.

the chirping of all the insects and rumble of other animals, rise and envelop the atmosphere; a veritable verdant wall of sound waves. you stand amidst this raw nature as you remember that you too are a wild animal.

the dusk blankets as nighttime approaches, and the world becomes a beautifully dense darkness. the symphony of an entire ecosystem develops and extends beyond the visible universe.

you are home.

---

" a palpable magic "

---

when you have been given access to realms unknown, it behooves you to just take one moment to be still and behold.

it can be a place. like walking into a cathedral in the afternoon, the sunlight streaming in through the filter of massive stained glass panels. or walking into a stadium with thousands and thousands of people writhing in their seats cheering and filling up space.

or looking out from the edge of a massive canyon; the sheer size overshadowing you entirely, and you reset the scale of the world. or slipping beneath the surface of the ocean while waves of saltwater flow over and swirl around you; such a feeling of bliss and contentment to be held aloft and afloat by the sea.

people are like that too. you can find yourself in the presence of someone very special, and they fill you with awe, wonderment, a sense of love you've never known, and a flavor of beauty which you've never experienced.

when you have the opportunity to peer behind the green curtain, to cross over the threshold, so enter a world unseen previous, make the time to be thankful, respectful, and open your heart to it all. a vision and experience such as that is a rare and lovely thing, and the resonance of which rarely loses its power.

---

" a curious day at the museum: a dream "

---

i was walking the grounds of an old olympic park, when i saw a small crew painting something along the eaves of a roof’s edge of an open forum.

it was like a large curl of a circular wall with about 35 degrees cut out to create the opening in the wall. then there was a curved roof overhead with a hole cut out in the top center of it in the shape of a serene oval, then another roof escalated over the hole with supports. shafts of light beamed into the space bright and soft.

as i got closer, i realized that the thing that was being painted was a whale statue.

then i realized i was in germany or austria.

one man was standing on the fourth rung from the bottom of this orange ladder and painting the underbelly of the whale statue/carving with a medium wide paintbrush on the end of a long wooden stave. his fellow crewman was telling him that he needed to get a bigger brush and move closer, but the painter disregarded that sentiment.

i had my camera and i wanted to photograph the whale.

a tour group entered the space led by an amish tour guide, and they all got in the way of the perfect shot. i waited patiently for a woman in a red tactical north face jacket to get her shot; she talked excitedly with her mother who was nearby, but was paying attention to the tour guide.

after they moved and i got the shot, i looked around the inner walls, and noticed they were all covered with lush green ivy; a living wall which breathed in and out.

i saw a table set up on the far side of the space and walked over to them; there were a lot of informational brochures.

one of the women from the museum i freelance for was at the table and she asked me if i got the letter. “what letter?” i asked back. “the letter from that woman,” she said.

they were trying to set me up on a date, and i was thankful, but didn’t receive a letter.

i walked out of the area and down to a clear open lake where all the tourists were swimming with their children.

then i woke up.

---

" from a slice of all time "

---

i have to remind myself to remind myself to not put all my focus on one thing or person or situation. to be that myopic gives me tunnel-vision, and i find it really hard to unlatch.

when i get into cleaning my desk at home, it turns into half-cleaning/half-reminiscing and then i get the cleaning-itch and begin to clean my floor, room, hallway, apartment. it's good to be detail-oriented, but i get lost.

the hours pass, the day wanes, the sun sets behind the buildings, behind the horizon, and it becomes nighttime becomes twilight becomes dawn. time is ceaseless until our time in this life is over, so i need to remember to take that time i have now and even it all out.

so, gone thieves of activity time, good riddance burglars of multitasking, and fare thee well appropriators of socializing. as always it is nice to have you over in small increments, but i've things to do.

thank you of your company, i've now things to do.

tonight's homework:

you are great! you are valid! you have every potential to accomplish tasks great and minuscule! shelf a mania and explore a newfound interest or activity. expand your world in metered steps.

---

" shifting states of being "

---

feeling everything, surging, reeling...writhing.

screaming into the open air until exhaustion.

running with a full force until you've no strength left, and in that brief moment of despair right before a deep reflective calming silence,

a searing setting overwhelmingly electric cleansing coursing throughout your nervous system.

we find that we still have a strength surging within us,

just below the surface of infinite potential.

---

" an adjustment towards sunlight "

---

summer fridays and bright even light blazing through the branches of the swaying trees which line the street.

caressing shadows fawn over the tiled walls, and you see the perfect spot for someone to fit right into the geometry of the wall.

when you see the image in your mind, and have it come out so great, so close to how you envisioned it, these are the moments which sustain you.

these are the hope-bringers that you did something meaningful, and can go on to realize other dreams as well, no matter how large or small.

---

" slipping slowly into a season "

---

hello hot mornings leading to hot afternoons, welcome swelter and heatwaves on black tar streets.

hello rumbling thunderstorms and looming clouds. find a seat delicious ice creams from oft-queued parlors.

entree vous i'm home and removes pants immediately. howdy doo a/c on full with a fan action.

wonderful to see you outdoor seating with snacks and laughter. and good tidings to the lightning bugs at nighttime.

it is all wonderful to be entranced by your summer'd ways. i very much look forward to the time we have left together.

---

" nothing beyond repair "

---

when you feel spent, overwhelmed, stubborn, and exhausted, there is something to allowing yourself a release. remember to breathe deeply, exhale fully, and ponder upon this metered breath.

i know firsthand these depths and these feelings of anguish. you will get through these hard times. it's a promise which can be made, but it takes a level of vulnerability and humbleness.

when you put out that good energy and optimistic vibes out into the world, it comes back to you in your darkest times. there is room for pride, but do not let it stop you from healing.

no one can know what the future brings, but we can at all times be prepared and ready ourselves.

tonight's homework:

dare to have a hope. dare to have a dream. spend time healing others. heal yourself.

---

" when you wear the best fit of the day "

---

invincibility as a construct is a difficult state to maintain. no matter how invulnerable we feel, our skin is still exposed to the world.

but a complete fit can be that armor to deflect all manner of hesitation. you can find yourself amidst naysayers or judgmental people, and render yourself immediately devoid of harm.

when you wear the best fit of the day, people take heed, and you have soul-fangs. one thing less is the matter, and you can walk tall, proud, confident, beaming, glowing, radiating.

i suppose i am still working on a complete best fit of the day, but i'm getting there piece by piece.

tonight's homework:

make yourself feel better for the benefit of yourself. things are always looking up.

---

" top of a small mountain is still a mountain "

---

above the ground, above the world, below the sky.

feet planted firmly and feeling powerful with the wind in your face and the strength of generations flowing through you.

all the pains ebbed, the ire depleted, the sadness vanquished. you stand on top of a small mountain and survey the future.

everything possible, loves in your life, delicious foods, your body running full throttle hurtling into every amazing experience after another, never stopping, never letting up.

then a quiet moment of reflection and a held breath exhaled.

---

" the sublime anchor "

---

once in a while something very special happens. you note it and take note, no matter how slight or bold to action or circumstance. these are the moments to cherishing your life of making.

the creation and fruition of an idea requires development, sometimes years, sometimes decades. sometimes mere seconds. they are all valid if you see them through, and if the winds are right, if the light quality correct, if you ate a delicious healthful breakfast, if the planets are in alignment, if it is low tide, if so many things.

and when you've got lightning in a bottle, you can tell. when you've collaborated on something so simple and so profound, you know it's going to be transcendent.

these are the sublime anchors which keep you tethered to your craft, and lets loose your stresses as if every ache and pain in your skeleton suddenly exits your body. you find your footing, and the strength to push on.

when it happens, you find yourself standing at the far end of a long pier facing the open water. the light shimmers and folds in on itself as the surface ripples and quivers. you close the eyes of your experience and confidence, and trust your skills as you press the shutter.

---

" summa summah "

---

the dank shift in the air signal the looming thunderstorm approaching. the leaves and branches of nearby trees sway and brush against each other producing the sound of waves crashing and ebbing. dark clouds linger over the distant city.

but we persevere on in our defiance and acceptance of this transition. plans are made, barbeques  are being lit, the daylight is savored, and no matter what we feel about the significance of the day, friendship, goodly neighbor-ship, and the consumption of burgers is on the docket.

so fie on the impending rains, fie on not engaging with your fellow people, and fie on everything but positive energies in the world. we can hold this day of rest as one of a template of days where we may have opportunity to show respect, remembrance, and implement the practice of goodwill.

tonight's homework:

be safe, take care of each other, invite people to kick it.

---

" how it all happens "

---

suddenly everything goes quiet, like the world's massive hands are cupped against your body. everything goes black and serene as only high frequencies lit and flutter above the vibrations.

this is how it all happens. and the universe expands into a million points of light making up the visual spectrum of all things.

your heart glows and the blood rushes. al sounds begin to layer and overlap until you hear everything, feel everything, and your skin is alive with the sensation of diamond particles.

there is no more platforms to stand on, just the realization that we are in motion and grounded by gravity. you sit in the presence of a reality between all realities. happiness expands like gentle waves lapping calm shores.

---

" in the right place "

---

dappled sunlight coming through the leaves of a tall looming tree with thick branches and it sways in the afternoon breeze.

warm luxurious air about. friends laughter permeates though the sounds of a crackling hot BBQ half-sphere. the juices sizzle as the white-hot hickory charcoal gleams a deep amber with white whiskers.

just beautiful beautiful beautiful everything. all good things exist in this space and time. we are not affected by anything happening outside the radius of the visible block.

dance songs echo through the studio room attached to the terrace deck, and we remove our shoes.

tonight's homework:

welcome summer into the fray, and get your feet wet.

---

" polaroid orange "

---

nothing like finding your old cameras just tucked away in your room and remembering that it is still fully functional.

nothing like asking for someone to mail you said camera from cali > nyc and also receiving it in a care package alongside another (!) polaroid cam they found!

nothing like discovering that not only did it have an old film pack inside, but after some finagling, you could replace the pack battery so that you could use said film package.

nothing like testing out the film & camera's prowess while out in the world running errands with a great friend, and finding that despite the fact that the film is expired from 2003, there still is an image.

nothing like reeling with all the myriad of strange and curious possibilities of what beautiful and alluring images you can now play around with.

tonight's homework:

good times only.

---

" a sign of a time "

---

the kentile floors sign is coming down in the gowns area of brooklyn after around 50 years.

when people talk about their anchors shifting and landmarks disappearing, they include changes like these.

the scaffolding less a structure of reenforcement, and more of removal. from sight, from site, from heart.

fare thee well.
---

" a point of pivot "

---

just spend over 65% of your time focusing on positive energies, good vibes, healing wavelengths, and balancing out your biorhythm, and you may begin to feel a gentle glowing tingling throughout the entirety of your being.

please confirm that this enveloping sensation is not heat rash, light-headedness, allergies, onset of stroke or cardiac murmurs, and you'll pretty much be golden.

things are looking up, and you're doing great things. have a tip-top day, and make sure to pass on the sense of contentment to others.

---

" break down to build up "

---

there's so much, there's so much. how to make it all organized and manageable, and is that even the point? can we exist amidst the tiny chaos of everyday?

films, pop culture, sickness, food trends, local news, international news, friends, family, cleanliness, arts & mixed media, attending musical events, learning how to dance, people-watching, karaoke, bike rides, dating, clothing choices, toothpaste with or without tartar control, airplane travel versus train travel, it's so much, and endless.

it's enough to know it all exists, and to recognize that it all exists, there is a great relief off the shoulders. there is no rush to have to understand it all. it's going to be there if you want it to or not. stop writing, shower, go to sleep.wake up tomorrow and give it your best go of it.

tonight's homework:

it's alright to be overwhelmed. we're basically on the craziest spaceship ever right now. take a rest, regroup, and i'll see you tomorrow.

---

---

" beyond the periphery "

---

perpetually moving and sometimes never locating our perspective until is appears. it's so difficult and strained. there is no light through the trees or solace in the silence.

finding the time to sit on a bench and look at the world moving all of its parts around you as you become the fulcrum. everything so simple and transparent. there are the lovely shadows, beautiful dappled sunlight through the swaying leaves of shuffling branches. the silence broken by laughter, the whirring of engines, and the click-clacking of shoes on pavement.

close my eyes and the world goes red and warm, and i'm enveloped by a kind of love which extends and becomes infinite. clarity in thought washes over me, and the way through become more crystalline.

tonight's homework:

get out of doors, and see the world with fresh eyes. no time to waste anymore. go go go!

---