" to the water, to the water "

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sometimes i dream of dark water.

whether in a pool at nighttime with all the lights turned off and curious illumination from within the depths, or in the wide open seas with unknown fathoms leading down to monstrous cephalopods.

never sure what dreaming about water, the ocean at night, being surrounded by the comfort of the waves and currents, but knowing that at some hidden level there lurks creatures unknown.

most of the time it's circling orcas or ululating humpback whales. they're never dangerous per se, but have a sense of menace and curiosity at the same time.

in some dreams i sink ever so slightly to four or five body lengths below the surface, and i can breathe! i love those dreams because you have a breath and you can see sharp and clear. as someone who has severely impaired vision, a life without eyeglasses and contact lenses is bliss.

i would swim down into the dense black, explore caverns with bioluminescent amoebas. these beautiful dreams allow me the opportunity to face fears, skirt some dangers, and remain near-lucid.

upon waking, i miss the sensation of the body of water cradling itself all about your being. it's the melancholy of finding yourself in the real world, on land, and devoid of the clutch and caress of the entire universe.

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—-

so when you find a $3 thriftstore polaroid 600 cam and load it with $23.46 8-count B/W film, sometimes it just turns out like this.

here’s to experimentation, risk-taking, troubleshooting, laying it on the line, having an opinion, and making time to actively fail.

because eventually, you’ll make gold brick dream matter manifest.

just maybe not today.

—-

—- 
 onlookers gather in the nighttime around the glowing portal 
 they peer into and over the threshold to see a brilliant and energetic vortex of dreams looming over the sleeping body of a small boy. 
 his head shifts as the lights from the glittering chandelier refract and flit about as soft shines glow around the room. 
 a fairy fluttering about oversees the safety and comfort of the boy, as the onlookers take in the scene, and then smiling knowingly, they walk on, away, and back into the black. 
 —-

—-

onlookers gather in the nighttime around the glowing portal

they peer into and over the threshold to see a brilliant and energetic vortex of dreams looming over the sleeping body of a small boy.

his head shifts as the lights from the glittering chandelier refract and flit about as soft shines glow around the room.

a fairy fluttering about oversees the safety and comfort of the boy, as the onlookers take in the scene, and then smiling knowingly, they walk on, away, and back into the black.

—-

" you're a gem, you're a diamond "

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new to the world, and these arms catch you.

my pops is a man with amazing fashion sense, a smile which speaks volumes, and a laughter that brings hearts full up to the brim.

i am an american where he was an immigrant, an excitable wiggler where he was a stoic proud calm walker, and a rapt listener & gleaner to his self-taught philosopher-poet. my dad brought me up with a dedication and love that took on both the challenge of being in a foreign country for sake of family, and me being that weird blend of child and americana.

as a kid, he doled out discipline and love in equal amounts, and at times it was hard to perceive which was his truth. but as is normal with the passing of time, and the gained ability to have conversations rather that word-battles, i can see his intent.

i can see that love that pushed out all worries and fear and guilt. he was a man just a little older than i am now, and he chose to give up his former life for the benefit of his fam.

as a young(ish) man, i can see all these things with a clarity, and know that because he was a just and good man, now i am one too.

big ups to you pops!

THAILAND > CALI CALI > HEART > LIFE
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