" letting go of it "

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finding yourself at the edges of all that grudge, ire, frustration and pain, and tiring of the burden of it. the massive weight upon your shoulders like a vice grip of red electricity and the enormity of the earth at rest.

you come to an understanding like a well lit corridor which you walk down the length of until you discover a certain truth in an opening behind a dark door.

you don't need to hold on to this weight any longer.

coming to this realization fills you up with such anger towards yourself for being so blind and hateful for so long. this dissipates into the most profound searing soothing hope coursing throughout.

for just the briefest of moments you pay a small unnecessary homage to your heavy cloak of past misfortune; you sometimes felt that you deserved that self-inflicted treatment. and just like the sometimes blissful transition from dreams into awakedness, or the emergence from a dark tunnel into an open field, you find that you have made a choice.

one to move beyond your limitations, one to forego all past notions of doubt, woe, regret, and sorrow.

you can be free of it, and you are soaring.

---

" sky access "

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it's so much lovelier here that i imagined. a convex/concave double-mirror'd world installed on an astrotuf hillock. and why not at all?

sublime design within simple shapes. this is the portal to a form of heaven on earth.

a lightness of being, the laughter of these small children lifting the weights of gravity off my shoulders,

and i lift away.

tonight's homework:

find a release in a moment, respect the purity of that moment, and let it extend towards its natural end. there are such beautiful occurrences throughout the day. i'm wishing you the best in locating just a one.

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" good medicine "

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kindness, patience, calm, meditation, healthy eating, healthy thinking and actions, brilliant ideas as a result of sleeping deeply & well, catnaps too, being confident in the face of fear, being humble in the face of praise.glances, approaches, kisses and physical touch.

making a connection with at least one other human in person per day. making someone feel great about themselves. drinking plenty of water. moisturizing often. love your parents, family, partners, other people, strangers, everyone.

touching someone's life with goodness, aide, cooking, arts & crafts time, movie-watching, activities! finding the positive and optimistic and venerable in each person.

getting close, getting good with life itself.

getting by.

second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, until the stars turn cold.

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" on nearby shores "

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sunlight on my face. closed eyes, and how the entire world goes an amber-red glow.

warm summer breeze clutching and clinging to my face like a whiplash flurry of kisses on the cheek.

the smell of the open ocean in the distance, and the guttural hum of the vessel mingling with the sounds of far off bellows.

riding along the chop and currents, we're making our way to the island.

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" you are not alone "

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chin up!

our moment here is so brief, but the lasting effects of our lives are so long. you're making an impact each day, and everyone notices.

the most simple action has significant impact, sometimes without you noticing. there is love, positive energy, bliss, and solace in your every interaction.

this is not to say do the bare minimum. be out in the world. walk the streets and paths through the city, town, village. the more time you put into seeing the world around you, the more you'll benefit from being in it.

the more care you put into your relationships and conversations, the more you're gleam and shimmer.

whenever you feel down, know that you are that special ingredient which makes it all worthwhile. there is no one quite like you, and even in those times you feel like you don't deserve it, you are praised, needed, wanted, desired, and integral to this whole thing.

tonight's homework:

the universe is so much better with you in it, so leave that desk, talk a stroll, and see what fantastic mischief you can get yourself into.

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" the end of things is the beginning "

---

sometimes the good news is bad news while bad news is still bad news, screaming is pleasurable though you go hoarse, crying is happiness and your guts ache with joy, cuts are thrilling though the thrill is breif, pain is exhilerating while a soft touch excruciating. 

we revel in this gray area emotional wonderland of reality and fantasy mashing all the best parts together. if there a true sense of happiness without the somber, or a sense of the self without the sense of mortality? how can you know a true contentment until you know where the parameters of the spectrum are?

i am the interconnected three-dimensional venn diagram with so may shaded-in areas, who could help but notice the Self that i am. my certain flavor is so complex, some do not know how to react; am i a relief or a menace?

sometimes the end of things are the beginning, and we've nothing to do but ponder, meet it at the gates, allow it in, and deal with the crossing of the line. too many things intersect at the same time to think of anything as a straight line. so take a moment, and feel free to move on.

tonight's homework:

ake some time to reevaluate your true interests. are they safe? are they detrimental? do they make you proud? would the continuation of them make your parents blush? have a think upon your base motivations, and see where that line of thought takes you. i bet more than anything, you'll rediscover that you may have been correct about yourself all along, and that nothing at all is wrong with anything.

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" four hours and a sense of adventure "

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when you need to navigate through the streets, run.

when you need to fly through the air, soar.

when you need to express yourself, love with an open heart.

when you need a nap, sleep for days.

there is absolutely no need to lessen this experience. no need to water it down, suss it out, ether your desire, or take a step back from the brink. sometimes, it's the teetering at the edge of all things where we find the skeleton to the body of our worldly participation.

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" sing a song "

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erratic movements, loud clanks and reverb in the darkness. green laser-beams and red pinhole lights sway and jerk in moments along the walls of a certain spastic geometry.

we are raucous chaotic vibration. snacks and alcohol strewn about the table. tomes of songs with the remote wrapped in plastic. tambourines & jodeci/mariah dreams. the microphone has a safety health cover on it "just in case," but just in case of what?

it's 7pm, 8pm, midnight, 1am. the night becomes a beautiful blur. this is cheaper than therapy; it is my therapy. this is my release; i am free. elvis looks on from a static portrait. he blesses us with his immortal crooked smile. the night goes from young to endless, and we ride the tunes raw until we are asked to leave.

this is poetry in motion.

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'' serendipity & other run-ins "

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sometimes you discover yourself after a lifetime of searching.

sometimes you don't even have to actively be looking.

sometimes you realize you've been there right in front of yourself the entire time.

then everything slows and everything comes into perfect clarity.

the idea of home passes through your thoughts, and resides in the structure of your heart, nestled in-between the cell walls, plasma, and oxygen-rich ephemera.

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" a platform at all times "

---

if you have something to say, speak. let the words ring out clear like the peal of a brass bell in the city square. there is no time like the present. there is no time to waste in silence.

you will be listened to; you will be heard.

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" here, there, everywhere "

---

they'll tell you it's about the destination. but then what about the planning, the tickets, the camaraderie, the language lessons, the ho(s)tels, the photo equipment, the swimwear, the burner phones, the notepaper and writing instruments, the sunglasses, the one set of "dress" clothing for the just in case, the snacks, the candies, the sunscreen, soap, toiletries, the sense of adventure, the troubleshooting, the anticipation of rail travel, the sightseeing, the alleyways, the waterways, the quiet calm spaces, the cities bustling at night, the people, the faces, the midnight reverie?

it's not solely in the destination; it's the life lived in the in between where the gold is sewn.

tonight's homework:

make some plans for exploration/adventure.

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" the fantastic voyage "

---

just bold unabashed joy and gleeful adventures from now on. you are greatness with grace, elegance in chaos, poetry in motion, beautifully free.

other revel in your presence and find comfort in your clutches. brave souls beware the magnetism of a fabric this exquisite.

tonight's homework:

no fears, no qualms, nothing less than a pure contentment of Self.

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" the carnivore's manifesto "

---

big ups to mr. patrick martins of slow food USA and heritage foods USA, on the debut of his new book, "the carnivore's manifesto, eating well, responsibly, and eating meat."

if you dig on delicious, sustainable, and informed meat consumption, this is pretty much your new bible.

and a nice super high five to his lovely wife anne saxelby who's reputation in the cheese world is extensive and prolific. peep out both of their dope stores at the essex street market in manhattan.

...i'm hungry now.

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" steps of dream fulfilment "

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in short, if you have a passion, a dream, some know-how, conviction, confidence, strength & content of character, gumption, traction, elbow grease, time, friends, family, support in any way, some capital or a way of fundraising some ole cash money, and a plan...you can make ity happen

there is nearly no reason why you couldn't succeed in the creation or implementation of one of your great interests or expression. it is entirely possible, and although procrastination feels great at the time, it yields more regret than any other significant byproduct.

in short, get on it, and do it up. the world is eagerly awaiting your everything.

tonight's homework:

send big ups to new filmmaker kristine stolakis on her recent screening at nyc's own anthology film archives.

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" chrome nyc pwns service "

---

ay though, big big ups and shout-outs to the intrepid and helpful crew at CHROME NYC for really coming through with the thoughtful sweet replacement of my crummed-up citadel bag.

with stitches coming apart and frays all about one shoulder strap, they evaluated the bag overall, and made a decision to offer me a replacement new bag. what a bold move & offer.

it was a really swift decision, and as i traded old for new, it really was a moment of pause. that bag has been with me for a number of years now. i've traveled with it to california, oregon, thailand, india, bali, and of course, all around NYC. bittersweet for sure, but very impressed.

this is what best practices breeds brand loyalty. all other companies take note; if you care for and treat your customers more like people and less like numbers, they'll regard you as their friend rather than a money pit.

kickin' ass and making me very contented. many thanks and see you soon!

---

" curious excursions "

---

rising waters up the length of your body. up the flanks, up the torso, past your chest, neck, ears, eventually the eyes, and just past the top of your head.

you're swimming in a river of stagnation, a sea of cautious nature, and an ocean of self-defeat. this is not your life. this is the moment to unmoor yourself to a perceived destiny, and begin to cast off from the burdens of these familiar shores.

this is the time for a disembarkation to every wish and fantasy dreampt up, to distant shores of endless possibilities, through the limitations self-imposed by fear and dissolution. now is the right tide.

now if the moment you change your life forever, and benefit greatly and forever because of a sense of bravery counterpoised by a twinge of foresight. look ahead and be brave. no one is going to hold you back now.

you're on the way.

---

" always in a new place "

---

i'm standing at the river's edge, looking out upon an afternoon filled with infinite possibility.

the sounds of the water laps against the granite pieces; crystalline peals with the reflected  echoes of rocks close together. the ferries pull into the docks, and churn the waters with massive engines.

just out of the periphery, sunbathers absorb dappled sunlight upon the expanse of their skin. a woman shifts and places her right forearm across her eyes; the palm of her hand cupped slightly and facing upwards towards the wide blue sky.

behind me is everything that ever happened, and in front of me, everything that will yet be. being at the focal point of memory at times feels like a sunny afternoon on an island somewhere in the world.

i am closing my eyes gently, and taking it all in.

---

---

sometimes all it takes is an in-person reminder and you find yourself more clearly defined.

those curious passages of time where you remain aloof, confused, bemused, and scattered? what are you doing? why is everything just a jumble of sound effects and flashing lights?

then you realize that you are taking on too much. you are looking out for so many others, that you forget to take care of yourself. and then you find that you do have the ability to say "no" and the world didn't disappear.

people still exist, love is a real thing, the planet still spins; you can feel free to do your thing. it's all gravy. when friends come through and remind you that important things are happening to them and others around you, you rediscover your empathy and patience.

find your anchors, know the properties, read between the lines, and sift through all the inherent BS. there's never been a moment of transition like this one, and i'm not going to waste it for nothing.

---

---

spring gala at the nyc ballet made more special by the fact that it's the 50th anniversary of the opening of the david koch theatre. amazing beauty inside and out.

one lovely patron, a haute couture fashion designer dorothee wirth, radiated poise and magnetism while waiting in the lobby of the theatre.

only amazing things happening inside the ballet. only amazing everythings. peep it out when you get the opportunity; there is absolutely nothing like live performance.

---

---

dreaming and wishing all good things into existence.

one pinch of luck, one dash opportunity, one smidgen threading the needle, and a touch of a whisper of tenacity to see the thing through.

one should not wait for beauty or love or chance or employment or experiences to arrive at their feet like a delivered package apropos of nothing.

one should feel free to encounter these things in an active manner, and meet them at the source of everything. in this manner, you'll never have to wait for the phone to ring; you'll be the one who created the line.

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