" in a blink "

---

moments of serendipity, and how we find each other out in the world.

she called out to me in the street, and i was at unawares. just the recognition wasn't enough. i could see a familiar shape, but dusk was descending, and maybe it could've been someone telling me my backpack was open.

but it wasn't at all.

separated briefly by a red light and how one cannot help but smile because you know hellos are in order. we greeted warmly, talked and strolled. then walked our way down south through the city, through the park. into and between the soft lights amidst the darkness.

everything looked brand new with another set of eyes peering around corners. exploration doesn't have to be rushed. you don't need to whip past so many things in order to feel like you did it, that you were there, that it meant something.

sometimes the slow pace is where you find out the most about yourself, your environment, and each other.

tonight's homework:

take a long walk with a friend to a destination unknown. keep your eyes open for everything and anything.

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" traveling a path "

---

no way to know where it'll end or turn. this path is knurled, contorted, splinters and fractures at its own whimsy and without a care. there's no way to anticipate, just prepare.

i understand the hesitation, i do. and fear most definitely. how can there be a sense of blindly walking into the fray without knowing the layout, knowing the topography?

with a clear mind and a true heart, we must all attempt to do our best to muster up courage and bravery. and to know that you are never in this alone, gives me immense amounts of confidence that it will all turn out alright.

i look forward to each waking moment, and each beautiful dream, with the aims of merging the two. and in that, we can find the strength to gather ourselves up with all of our experience and knowledge, and navigate ourselves towards wonders unknown.

---

" finding the right words: a dream "

---

it was morning time and the sunbeams were streaming into the kitchen. i had people over for the night and we were making an omelet.

in a large pan i had sauteed garlic and onions, and put in a clutch of kale for color and nutrition.

patrick came into the kitchen and said that he wanted to help out, so i asked him to get the eggs ready. i thought to myself that this really wasn’t a hard task, and i was thinking that he should just take the eggs from the fridge, out of the carton, and place them on the table behind me.

everyone behind me was laughing and having a good time chatting in the sunlight, and i wanted to join in, so i turned around and joined them while the mushrooms went into the pan and started to cook.

a moment later, patrick said he already put the eggs into the pan, and i turned around, because i felt that something was amiss.

“aw maaaan!,” i yelled out loud but not in a mean way. “why would you put a bunch of hard-boiled eggs into the pan!”

“i don’t know, that’s what you said to do,” he replied. i think that he thought i was yelling at him mad, but everyone else laughed because it was funny that i was crazy about the state of the eggs.

he left the kitchen after he got frustrated with me, and i made a mental note to apologize to him later.

then i went to get some eggs out of the carton on the table, and one of the eggs was cracked already so it fell out of the carton and onto my hand and then slid out and plopped onto the rangetop.

“oh noooooooo!” i screamed, while everyone else laughed at my comeuppance.

i realized that breakfast was going to be made a little later than planned, and then i woke up laughing.

---

" sky access "

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it's so much lovelier here that i imagined. a convex/concave double-mirror'd world installed on an astrotuf hillock. and why not at all?

sublime design within simple shapes. this is the portal to a form of heaven on earth.

a lightness of being, the laughter of these small children lifting the weights of gravity off my shoulders,

and i lift away.

tonight's homework:

find a release in a moment, respect the purity of that moment, and let it extend towards its natural end. there are such beautiful occurrences throughout the day. i'm wishing you the best in locating just a one.

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" some summer happenstance "

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riding your bicycle home in the evening, the trees lining the inner looped roadway in the park creating the loveliest thoroughfare. warm winds caress your ears, face, neck, shoulders, and all the way down to the dimples of your ankles.

the doppler effect of feet meeting pavement as you float past runners slowly shifts into the brassy long tones of sung melancholy.

beautiful melodies counterpoised with slow steady deliberate music glide upon an errant gale, curls itself into the architecture of your ears, and nestles inside of your bones. the amplified sounds grow closer as you approach, the echoes of which reverberate throughout your skeleton and you feel all blue colors of the night.

peering through a gated fence, nothing can shut out the long reach of this music; it's lengthy slender fingers slipping through the braided diamonds, and holds the weight of your head in its comforting palms.

everything is stillness and invisible wavelengths. your heart goes electric and in that moment, you feel everything.

---

" you are golden "

---

dear to me you are gold. constant, malleable, distinct. up close or far away, near in my heart, and make me a better person.

a beauty beyond compare, neither pure or distasteful because of impurities. rather you become more and more and more each day, lovely and a reminder of all the nigh indescribable wonder in the world.

tonight's homework:

remind people how much they mean to you. i bet they already know, but it's always nice to hear and relay. cook a meal together with someone, watch a film, mingle, hug, exist in simple blisses of your own creation.

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" the best the best "

---

smile like the breaking of a new day. warm, enveloping, golden and full, pure and brilliant.

smile so your soul beams and glows outward; concentric heat waves emanating from your marrow out into the universe.

you affect molecules and matter, people and neighborhoods, cities and atmosphere, the planet itself, the galaxy.

you soar and expand into the solar winds, and ride the blissful contentment past the stars and into the depths unknown.

tonight's homework:

feel it, be it, do it, sleep at a reasonable hour, dream dream dream.

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" flush all over "

---

running through the forest at dusk. the sun honey drip dipping below the horizon in the far distance, and the last fleeting streams losing their grip amongst the trunks, up to the branches, and finally the wide endless canopy.

the chirping of all the insects and rumble of other animals, rise and envelop the atmosphere; a veritable verdant wall of sound waves. you stand amidst this raw nature as you remember that you too are a wild animal.

the dusk blankets as nighttime approaches, and the world becomes a beautifully dense darkness. the symphony of an entire ecosystem develops and extends beyond the visible universe.

you are home.

---

" a curious day at the museum: a dream "

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i was walking the grounds of an old olympic park, when i saw a small crew painting something along the eaves of a roof’s edge of an open forum.

it was like a large curl of a circular wall with about 35 degrees cut out to create the opening in the wall. then there was a curved roof overhead with a hole cut out in the top center of it in the shape of a serene oval, then another roof escalated over the hole with supports. shafts of light beamed into the space bright and soft.

as i got closer, i realized that the thing that was being painted was a whale statue.

then i realized i was in germany or austria.

one man was standing on the fourth rung from the bottom of this orange ladder and painting the underbelly of the whale statue/carving with a medium wide paintbrush on the end of a long wooden stave. his fellow crewman was telling him that he needed to get a bigger brush and move closer, but the painter disregarded that sentiment.

i had my camera and i wanted to photograph the whale.

a tour group entered the space led by an amish tour guide, and they all got in the way of the perfect shot. i waited patiently for a woman in a red tactical north face jacket to get her shot; she talked excitedly with her mother who was nearby, but was paying attention to the tour guide.

after they moved and i got the shot, i looked around the inner walls, and noticed they were all covered with lush green ivy; a living wall which breathed in and out.

i saw a table set up on the far side of the space and walked over to them; there were a lot of informational brochures.

one of the women from the museum i freelance for was at the table and she asked me if i got the letter. “what letter?” i asked back. “the letter from that woman,” she said.

they were trying to set me up on a date, and i was thankful, but didn’t receive a letter.

i walked out of the area and down to a clear open lake where all the tourists were swimming with their children.

then i woke up.

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" from a slice of all time "

---

i have to remind myself to remind myself to not put all my focus on one thing or person or situation. to be that myopic gives me tunnel-vision, and i find it really hard to unlatch.

when i get into cleaning my desk at home, it turns into half-cleaning/half-reminiscing and then i get the cleaning-itch and begin to clean my floor, room, hallway, apartment. it's good to be detail-oriented, but i get lost.

the hours pass, the day wanes, the sun sets behind the buildings, behind the horizon, and it becomes nighttime becomes twilight becomes dawn. time is ceaseless until our time in this life is over, so i need to remember to take that time i have now and even it all out.

so, gone thieves of activity time, good riddance burglars of multitasking, and fare thee well appropriators of socializing. as always it is nice to have you over in small increments, but i've things to do.

thank you of your company, i've now things to do.

tonight's homework:

you are great! you are valid! you have every potential to accomplish tasks great and minuscule! shelf a mania and explore a newfound interest or activity. expand your world in metered steps.

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" you are one of the first "

---

each morning you awake to the world anew. surrounded by darkness or bathed in light, partnered or alone, everything shifts slowly from a dream into the recognizable dream of reality.

find your bearings and ready for this new day, new life, new to all the experiences you'll have. you are going to meet so many new people today, and what do you choose to do with that opportunity? 

in each passing second, endless variation of all manner and permutation. there has never been a moment such as this one. it is coming, it is happening, it has happened, it is gone.

what lingers? what remains in your soul? each morning we are very lucky to be able to open ourselves to the universe, and the pleasure is in the details. what will you do today?

merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, we go along.

life is but a dream.

---

" nothing beyond repair "

---

when you feel spent, overwhelmed, stubborn, and exhausted, there is something to allowing yourself a release. remember to breathe deeply, exhale fully, and ponder upon this metered breath.

i know firsthand these depths and these feelings of anguish. you will get through these hard times. it's a promise which can be made, but it takes a level of vulnerability and humbleness.

when you put out that good energy and optimistic vibes out into the world, it comes back to you in your darkest times. there is room for pride, but do not let it stop you from healing.

no one can know what the future brings, but we can at all times be prepared and ready ourselves.

tonight's homework:

dare to have a hope. dare to have a dream. spend time healing others. heal yourself.

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" beyond what you see "

---

no need for kid gloves with me. i'm a dark horse with crimson lips. the brash gale which whips at the walls of your preconceived notions.

come correct or not at all. the deep wake of my strengths slicing through wide waters defy expectation.

we'll treat each other as friends and fellow humans, or walk on by. i've no time for ill behavior, cruelty, teasing, or the all too-oft catcall.

i am the water, the sun, the earth, the molten core. i am the cold of space, the endless night, and the breaking dawn.

---

" four hours and a sense of adventure "

---

when you need to navigate through the streets, run.

when you need to fly through the air, soar.

when you need to express yourself, love with an open heart.

when you need a nap, sleep for days.

there is absolutely no need to lessen this experience. no need to water it down, suss it out, ether your desire, or take a step back from the brink. sometimes, it's the teetering at the edge of all things where we find the skeleton to the body of our worldly participation.

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" in the right place "

---

dappled sunlight coming through the leaves of a tall looming tree with thick branches and it sways in the afternoon breeze.

warm luxurious air about. friends laughter permeates though the sounds of a crackling hot BBQ half-sphere. the juices sizzle as the white-hot hickory charcoal gleams a deep amber with white whiskers.

just beautiful beautiful beautiful everything. all good things exist in this space and time. we are not affected by anything happening outside the radius of the visible block.

dance songs echo through the studio room attached to the terrace deck, and we remove our shoes.

tonight's homework:

welcome summer into the fray, and get your feet wet.

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" dream development "

---

i've had some strange dreams. vivid, alluring, horrifying, colorful, whisper-quiet ones. ones in which skeletons pop up out of the ground like a harryhausen flick, chasing me across a darkened schoolfield and i only can muster the energy to run in slow motion.

i've had ones where i speak to relatives who have passed away, to exes where we resolve our past arguments and silences, to the children that i haven't had yet. some mornings i wake up sobbing in grief, or joy, or awoken to reality out from a lifetime spent living a complete existence as an amalgam of myself and my past lives. most of my dreams take place at a time where the sun hangs low and languid, the golden hour.

there are dreams where i revisit places and locations that i've only seen inside of a previous dream. it's years later, and i recognize the terrain, the construction of buildings, structures, streets now devoid of life. it's a homecoming of such familiarity, that i start to question the nature of my consciousness, and debate whether this waking life is a dream being explored.

i love to fly in my dreams; it usually begins with the feeling of built-up energy, like my limbs will explode. a burst of electricity and i begin to swim into the air. mostly freestyle and breaststroke, and i am lifted higher and higher before i am soaring. such a feeling of freedom and weightlessness. it is a sustained elation, and usually only after becoming lucid while in flight, do i lose altitude, and crash to the ground.

there is a resolve that occurs each night, and it remains one of the most powerful tools i have to aid in the development of my better nature. it is a certain flavor of bliss which is rarely matched without the aid of a certain chemistry.

the lessons learned, the life lived beyond the veil of slumber...these are the powerful exercises where i go to when i sleep. the dreamworlds i inhabit, however ethereal, however comforting, however terrifying or haunting, always provides me with the opportunity for the reinvention and reevaluation of the Self.

tonight's homework:

spend some time preparing yourself for a restful sleep. it's not the easiest thing to do in the time of screens and artifice, but the benefits of a quiet calm and relaxation nearly ensures a deep sleep followed by the promise of visions.

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" examples of a man "

---

it's a curious thing, the notion of what makes a man. in my life, i never had a direct instructional on how to develop those qualities which would be resultant in manhood. it was a smattering of observations, learning by osmosis from other men in my life, an assemblage of mimicry, and moments of flexing my own notions.

as i am now, it feels like i'm less a "man-man," and more simply a human. there are most definitely templates, stereotypes, and typologies of what the global man is, but we are all just shades of gray on the spectrum.

we all have the infinite potential for greatness and tenderness, where our mightiest power lies in having the notion, and knowing when to utilize it in support of our fellow people.

the beauty of our existence lies in our bold implementation of our personalities and is recorded by those around us through our actions. what makes you a man then, becomes less important than what makes you a good person.

---

 

" polaroid orange "

---

nothing like finding your old cameras just tucked away in your room and remembering that it is still fully functional.

nothing like asking for someone to mail you said camera from cali > nyc and also receiving it in a care package alongside another (!) polaroid cam they found!

nothing like discovering that not only did it have an old film pack inside, but after some finagling, you could replace the pack battery so that you could use said film package.

nothing like testing out the film & camera's prowess while out in the world running errands with a great friend, and finding that despite the fact that the film is expired from 2003, there still is an image.

nothing like reeling with all the myriad of strange and curious possibilities of what beautiful and alluring images you can now play around with.

tonight's homework:

good times only.

---

" here, there, everywhere "

---

they'll tell you it's about the destination. but then what about the planning, the tickets, the camaraderie, the language lessons, the ho(s)tels, the photo equipment, the swimwear, the burner phones, the notepaper and writing instruments, the sunglasses, the one set of "dress" clothing for the just in case, the snacks, the candies, the sunscreen, soap, toiletries, the sense of adventure, the troubleshooting, the anticipation of rail travel, the sightseeing, the alleyways, the waterways, the quiet calm spaces, the cities bustling at night, the people, the faces, the midnight reverie?

it's not solely in the destination; it's the life lived in the in between where the gold is sewn.

tonight's homework:

make some plans for exploration/adventure.

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" the line in the circle "

---

you should at all times make the attempt to give pause before saying something out of frustration, judgement, or anger. you may be fueling your discontent based on a single moment of ire, and it is difficult to know the long-lasting outcomes of momentary vitriol.

when you feel that white-hot heat of displeasure, welling up seating heavy and square upon your torso, of course there's nothing more relieving than unleashing it into the world as quick as possible.

but take a moment, a true moment of pause. allow this feeling to manifest, to evolve and ripen. recognize it and give it a power and a name. know it's presence is as valid as all other feelings, and deserves to exist. then with that recognition, you may make your choices.

all it takes are mere seconds and the situation changes, the day shifts into something else, the tone of your week alters, your life is now different. it is all that simple and it is all that complex.

when you make a line through a circle, it's an active choice. there is an entrance and an exit. a beginning and an end. it has always been like this, and afterwards, nothing is ever the same.

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