you have to want it so bad, more than anything else, and will it into existence. from the heart up through the brain-stem to the senses to the skin to the meat & musculature to the bones.
if it’s anything i’ve learned from the entirety of my life thus far, it’s that there is not the sort of magic that you believed in as a child. the whole of growing up and through to early adolescence leads up to the eventual realization that there are no easy answers.
everything is amazingly complex and multifaceted, filled with nuances and intimate delicacy. how i’ve been so confident in my youth, and at present feel very strong that i alone am the one that must put the effort into it all, or nothing will come of all those desires and dreams.
you are owed nothing, and there are no absolutes. it’s all the gray area in between, thick like a fog of your own device. how it lifts and clears in entirely up to you.
and if you have a belief in me and mines, i will have a belief in you and yours.