last night i had a double dream about my brother. he's been living abroad for some time now, seeking a version of his life that is on the same vibration as his dreams. i believe him when he says this is what he wants, and this is the time do be on that far-off spot on the planet. it's comforting to know that you're not the only one attempting to fine a definition.
in the dream, i was meeting with him in a nicely airy daylight cafe. there were many voices around but i can't remember if there were any people bustling about to match. he said that he had to go for a second, and to wait for him to return. i wanted to take a photograph of him because normal thing for me to do, and i didn't know when the next time i'd see him would be.
he was gone a while and the day began to wane. it all of a sudden felt very hot, and my legs went uncomfortable in that way where you want to flex them really hard to rid the sensation of tightness. then i woke up.
it was dark and most likely between three and five in the morning. i could hear the radiator sputtering in the corner of my room. still half-awake and eager to be at the cafe when my dream-brother returned from his dream-errand, i turned to my side, shifted my legs, and returned to slumberland.
somehow my brain reconnected with the last dream, and i was back in the cafe. there seemed to be less chatter about, and the daylight was confused between afternoon and dusk, it was as if the sky shifted back and forth depending which direction i was looking about.
i peered down and looked at the tiled floor thinking about what i brought with me when i heard approaching footsteps. turning to greet him again, i just heard his voice as the sun shined in my eyes brightly, and right through my body. i was awoken again, and this time i was greeted by daylight and confusion. then a waking knowledge, then sadness, then acceptance, then after a deep inhalation, i was ready to begin the day.
funnily enough, later today i chatted with him a bit, but forgot to even mention the double dream, or how it was a great one filled with wonderment, calm, awe, and nostalgia. we skimmed the surface of not too much of anything, and then the interaction was done. what was said was between the lines, what was felt was pride and simple joys. the knowledge of knowing someone so well, and yet not knowing anything about them at all is such a strange mystery.
time to put everything in order, tidy up a bit, celebrate the fact that we made it here, today, to this moment, and the tidal shift of tomorrow could be like any other day, or it could signify a true beginning. whether baby steps or long strides, what is important is you move forward with love in your heart, and kindness in your actions.